How often do you think of yourself, others, or your actions as "soft" or "hard"?

These words often seem like opposites, as though they can't coexist. But is that really true—or even natural? How much of this belief is shaped by how we want to be perceived by the world?

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the interplay of softness and strength in my life. The longer I work, live, and cultivate relationships, the more I see that embodying both qualities can create a life aligned with my values and sensitive to the values of others. To confine myself to just one would oversimplify the complexity of being human. Life is not so linear. We can—and often should—be equal parts soft and hard.

But what does that look like when we strip away cultural expectations? Read on in the short yet thought provoking article, below...

I officially have a new role, as Chair of the HRNZ Board of Directors…

Last week, I ran my LeadHER workshop in Wellington with a group of powerhouse women who lead businesses, clients, teams, and communities with intent, insight, and impact. Think coaching-meets-leadership-workshop, in a space where you are seen, heard, and surrounded by 'aha moments' that speak deeply to you.

Let's share some key takeaways...

Can we ever obtain a fully productive work life, or a fully productive organisation? What does that even mean? I dig deeper with Podcast host, Digby, on how to reshape work to create more meaningful, sustaining experiences.

Digby and I explore what it means to live and work well. We dig deep into how we put unseen limits in place and how we can create space for busting those limits for ourselves and our organisational cultures so we can get on with doing and being what matters most. We explore the idea of control versus surrender, and how the power of language can limit us, or open us up to new possibilities.

I’ve noted the flurry of responses to the direct and implied messages that came out of the Prime Minister’s Tuesday Breakfast interview on WFH, along with countless posts about international corporates demanding their employees return to the office.

Let’s stop framing this as a WFH debate. WFH is just the current subject.

What we're honestly grappling with is change and our collective struggle to adapt to it as leaders...

In this episode I’m chatting with Philly Powell, a wellbeing provocateur and creator of the Wellbeing Tick, about what it means to make the tough choices to truly put wellbeing first.

It’s funny how things change. Sometimes so subtly that we don’t realise it, and the truths we tell ourselves become stories that have fallen out of sync with what’s really happening...

Rumpelstiltskin was quite the guy... A fictitious character of fairy tale origin, he was known as a bit of a trickster. His modus operandi - agreements formalised in long wordy contracts that played on power dynamics, devilish details and morally questionable clauses.

His character became immortalized by the Brothers Grimm in the 1800s... Around this time, coincidentally, the industrial revolution fueled a labour movement that spawned the first, wide-spread use of written employment agreements to formalise terms and conditions of employment.

This is an article about today's employment agreements - why they suck, how they can suck much less, and why it matters so much.

This week is my fourth month in business with and for me. As a curious leader, I am celebrating with a glass of learnings... Truth be told, I don't have wine on me at the moment, but if I did, it'd be a delish glass of Aroha by Craggy Range...

Here's three things that I've learnt after four fast and furious months doing biz as DEW...

My own experience, like most leaders, was about learning to lead the hard way… It sucked. I tell you why in my article...

On Friday, I launched my LeadHER programme for wāhine in leadership, empowering ladies to redefine leadership and walk their own path. Leadership is about people, connection and authenticity. Let's start focusing on these things, first.

Read more about leadership realities, and leading with intent, insight and impact in my article, below...

HR suffers from homogeneity. I am a classic example of this as a Pākehā female, tāngata Tiriti, aged 40 (or thereabouts).

And as I move from a participatory role within my profession to one of leadership and shaping, I am all too aware of my majorityness and my growing discomfort with how this shapes my profession and, ultimately, the legacy I leave behind...

Check out my article in the latest HRNZ Magazine on solving the homogeneity of HR, and the lessons we must take from conservation...

Since starting my own business a few months back after a career of corporate hustle, I have been learning to unlearn. Specifically, reflecting on, understanding and exploring what this hustle culture is about, how it plays out for me and what a healthier alternative might look like…

This is an article on hustle, running out of fuel – metaphorically and IRL (in real life) - and the pursuit of balance.

Struggling with the changes you're helping lead?

We're amidst a whirlwind of swift change right now, and let's be honest, it's not the most uplifting of journeys for anyone involved. But this is precisely the moment for us, as HR professionals, to rise to the occasion and undertake our most crucial work.

As our leaders grapple with difficult decisions, we must champion people, diversity, and skills above all else. It's how we ensure change is not just done, but done well, and that our organisations and people are ready for what lies ahead…

Having trouble keeping to your own boundaries? Me too. It's a delicate daily practice...

Struggling, but unsure why?

I have been meaning to post this for a while. This post is about the power of the subconscious mind in driving our feelings and behaviours with reference to heroin overdoses, hungry dogs and woo woo…

Compassion alert: this article touches on miscarriage.

I'm sitting in a coffee shop pondering the ways in which I am present in life and work, and it got me thinking about breaks.

Yip, breaks. The entitlement we have in our contracts and law that many of us don't take advantage of…

I've said this a few times lately, however it resonates throughout my life. The most painful choices and changes I've made, were absolutely the most necessary.

Big change doesn't always feel good. In fact, often it can feel all kinds of unsettling, uncomfortable, hard, upsetting... the list goes on.

It's important though to remember that not all good things feel good in the moment. The lack of good feels doesn't however mean you should stop...

18 years ago I graduated with a degree in Management and HR Management. I hadn't done either of those jobs before, and my degree in all honestly didn't (and couldn't) really teach me how to do these jobs day to day... What my expensive education taught me was how to learn, using concepts, frameworks and research.

Today, I still use these frameworks, concepts and principles to help me make sense of things around me. More importantly and valuable however is how often I find myself in situations where I need to employ these sensemaking tools.

Learning agility however isn't just a 'tertiary education thing'. It is open source...

Perhaps the more useful question is "how do I get better at choosing?"

Don't be distracted by the chocolates... This article is about getting better at making choices. It may however help you when the Roses get passed around at Christmas... My fave is Turkish Delight, so I have no worries, it's always left over.

We make as many as 35,000 choices a day…

If there is one world I would eradicate from existence, it is "should". I absolutely abhor it.

Words are my jam, my love language. I see, live and love words and how they can be used.

Words can create connection. When used well, our words can invite, include, share, and engage others. They can create stories, visuals, convey meaning, strengthen relationships and create trust. How beautiful is that!…

A year ago, I started a year of overhaul. The concept of 'Break Free ’23' was to stop, take stock and reset. One year on, here's what 'Breaking Free in 2023' has taught me about big life change…

I love a good crypt, it's up there with true crime docos for me. I find them eerie yet intriguing. It's the history and the story that I find most interesting.

I recently visited an old crypt in Sicily, where the deceased left a potent message on the wall for the living who visited...“We were once like you. You will soon be like us”.

How are crypts relevant to midlife crisis?…

A blog that talks to the synergies between gambling, rats and our life choices.

I’ve always loved a good card game of 500. It requires teamwork, reading acute nuances in body language and strategy… My favourite things.

And if you get a decent hand and win the call (your gamble is higher than others), you get to pick up the mystery cards in the middle - the ‘kitty’. I also love a good surprise, and cats. What’s not great about this game?…

The start of a new year is an arbitrary time to think about life, work and goals...

I used to write goals in the back of my weekly planner. They were mostly about work, some (extremely aspirational or overly underwhelming) financial ones, and of course fitness goals. They were focused on compartmentalized areas of life, with an arbitrary outcome.

They were, overall, pretty boring. They didn't inspire or mean anything to me in the moments when I was faced with a spontaneous spend or an unexpected career turn...

In 2022, I finally got what successful goal setting looks, and most importantly, feels like…

I hope you say you. However all too often in practice we outsource this precious job. Many of us let others tell us and shape what we end up believing we have to offer... and what value this holds.

Let's talk value vs worth…

Today I sat in a room of wāhine toa sharing their incredible non-work successes, insights and learnings for the past year. And I have to say I was blown away at the depth of talent, resilience and persistence these women showed in the face of challenge, opposition, fear and threat. They held up husbands, families, businesses...

And this - as most things do - got me thinking deeply about all of the incredible things we each bring to the table that we never really get to acknowledge let alone showcase when we share with people who we are and what we do.

In the past two weeks I've worked from Tauranga, Waitomo, Taranaki, Palmerston North, Invercargill, Stewart Is, Carterton, Wellington, and Melbourne. My location has largely been dependent on where I wanted to work.

Remote and flexible work is how I do life now. I love it and wouldn't change it for anything…

I used to drive fast. Driving was the incredibly annoying bit between the places I needed to be. It was wasted time. And wasted time FRUSTRATED me.

Driving fast was also the metaphor for how I lived life. I packed things into every moment of the day. Everything was a task. I booked and accepted back to back meetings, I prioritised things for others over my needs, and I said yes to everything. I squeezed in or dropped the things that were nice to have, like going for a swim, having a slow coffee, or a leisurely chat with a stranger for no obvious purpose…

Oddly, the story got twisted somewhere along the way... We all started thinking that vulnerability was about weakness, being alone and susceptible. Actually, if you step away from the uncomfortable feelings it can create when you're new to practicing it, vulnerability is actually about choosing (key word here) to step out of your comfort zone…